


Movie Night

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 17:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16858531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: “The Guardians watch The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. >:D”Oh, so much crack. I’d like to thank MikeJ of Shameful Sequels for reviewing this movie so I didn’t have to watch it myself. What can I even say? Jack knew the elves shouldn’t have been allowed to pick the movie for Guardian movie night.





	Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I am moving all of my short Rise of the Guardians fanfiction to Ao3 from tumblr. Originally posted 4/30/2013.

Jack had said it before, and he’d say it again: There’s no reason why the elves should get to pick the movie for Guardian movie night. 

“They like to be included,” North had said, grinning cheerfully at several of the little creatures that were hanging around on the arms and backs of the chairs in which Jack and North were reclining. In late May, both of them were able to relax for a while, and so they had come up with the idea for regular Guardian movie nights. 

Every week, a different Guardian would pick a movie. And, apparently, the elves needed to be in this rotation as well. 

“You don’t know what kind of movies they like to watch,” Jack had pointed out. “You don’t even know if they really understand what a movie even is.” 

“I will show them where DVDs are in Workshop’s main library. And they do have things they like! They like us.” 

“There aren’t any movies about us—not really.” 

“Then they will pick something else! It will be fine.” 

North was very difficult to argue with at the North Pole. Jack was going to have to ask Bunny for practice some time.

*** 

Sandy settled down on the large couch between Jack and Tooth, holding a bowl of popcorn. That was all as usual. North and Bunny each sat in an armchair to either side of the couch, as they had for a few weeks previously.

So far, Jack liked the routine they had developed. Each Guardian kept his or her movie choice a surprise until movie night, they would watch the movie, and then hang out and talk about it afterwards.

Sandy had gone first. His choice was Ink. 

Then it was Tooth’s turn. She chose Fantasia.

Bunny chose Wall-E.

And then, tonight, based on the rotation order as drawn out of a hat, was the elves’ turn. 

“I wonder what they picked,” Tooth said, smiling at a group of three that was walking up to the DVD player, holding a disk between them, data-side-up, as if it was a sacred object. 

Jack made a face at Sandy, who frowned. Normally, Jack liked these nights. It was part of being the Guardian of Fun, and if he seemed to think this was going to be a disaster…

“The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.” Bunny’s voice was flat as he read the title on the screen. The elves clapped and danced, causing the bells on their hats to jingle, and one pressed play, smiling as wide as its tiny face would allow. 

“North, why was this in your library?” Jack asked, wondering frantically how he could dismantle the TV and make it look like an ordinary malfunction. 

North shrugged, looking uncomfortable as the movie begins. “Someone must have asked for it for Christmas once. I admit I don’t know anything about the plot…” 

Said plot was strange enough, but the elves seemed to be enjoying it, and the Guardians resolved to humor them, though constant glances of disbelief shot between them as the movie progressed.

The attempts to humor the elves, though, went out the window when the Council of Legendary Figures appeared on screen. 

“No.” Bunny said, simply. 

“What,” said Tooth. 

Sandy clapped his hand over his mouth and Jack couldn’t tell if he was horrified or trying not to laugh out loud at the fact that someone decided he looked like Michael Dorn.

“Come on everybody, they made Santa pretty strange already, what can you expect?” North said. “I am sure it cannot get worse—” 

Jack groaned and pulled his hood up as a spiky-haired Martin Short entered the frame. 

“They have got to be kidding!” Bunny exclaimed as the scene unfolded. 

Jack was pretty sure Sandy was trying not to laugh now. 

“We’re going to find out if the only way to kill an immortal is through embarrassment,” Jack muttered through his hoodie, which he’s pulled up so that only his eyes are visible. 

“Er…maybe we don’t have to do full movie night,” North said reluctantly.

“I suppose,” said Tooth, “Though if we stop movie night I’ll just be going back to work earlier than usual, and I was kind of liking this excuse to relax…”

This caused Jack to pop his head out of his sweatshirt. “No way, Tooth. This may be in the running for most the most awkward experience I’ve ever had, but what kind of Guardian of Fun would I be if we just stopped this and went back to work?” 

“Yes, but how fun is this, Jack?” Bunny asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m working on that.” Sandy tugged on his sleeve and gestured toward the kitchens. A lightbulb appeared over his head. “Okay, one second guys, Sandy has an idea. We’ll be back.” 

When they returned from the kitchens, they are each carrying several bottles of vodka. “That is good stuff! How did you find it?” North asked, but Sandy just rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t know, North, Sandy showed me. The shot glasses too. And so here’s the plan. Every time the movie gets something wrong, or something unbelievable happens, we all take a shot. And it’s related to the movie, so obviously part of movie night, so Tooth, you don’t have any reason to leave. And we all get to get drunk together. How long has it been anyway? Probably too long, you all are workaholics. And never with me.” 

“I dunno,” said Bunny. “Last time we did this, which I think was Sandy’s idea then too, it turned out—” 

“Don’t care!” Jack pressed a glass into Bunny’s hand. “First of all, you’re not brown. Drink up!” 

*** 

When he woke up the next morning, Jack was glad that he had no idea how The Santa Clause 3 ended. He wished he had an idea though as to why his eyebrows were shaved, a feather was stuck up his nose, and his shot glass was filled with dreamsand. And an explanation of why he was apparently using Bunny’s chest as a pillow would be good too.

He was pretty, sure, though, that the reason for North’s yelling, which had woken him up, was because the elves had taken over the Workshop machinery while they were all sloshed. Oops. Jack smiled. Good movie night.


End file.
